i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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