Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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