why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
