I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
