dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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