he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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