so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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