I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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