Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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