hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
