Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
