Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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