Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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