i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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