I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
