it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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