oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
