Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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