all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize