Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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