Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i drank out of a bidet.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Let the clothes fall where they may.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
