You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
