She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
