Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
