he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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