wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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