Banned from zoo.
Again?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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