I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
