i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
