Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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