Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
