it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize