stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
