Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
