Im at strip club and am horny
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
