So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Floor bacon is actually really good
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
