Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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