He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
