did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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