At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
