I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
