The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize