do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
