i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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