im having a threesome with these popsicles
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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