Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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