I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
