the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
