I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
