When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
