After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
