Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
NoShamevember. You game?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
