Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize