I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
