sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
