i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i think i just lost a toe
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
