i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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