I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
