can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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